Sometimes, it feels like life throws messages at us that are meant to get us down. We take things to heart probably a little more than we should, we let in doubts.

Let’s get this out of the way:No matter what messages you’re receiving from the universe, there are positive lessons to be learned. If you didn’t get a great grade on a paper or perform well on a project at work, chances are good that it’s not because you somehow failed; the reality is that maybe you were distracted, maybe you weren’t interested in what you were doing, or maybe you didn’t get the support you needed. Looking beyond your gut instinct to throw in the towel is vital. Even if there are things that you could have done differently, at least you have that awareness for next time and assuredly, there will be a next time.

Getting beyond those doubts is important. It helps us shape our lives a little bit more clearly, lets us see what we are and aren’t passionate about, and creates a path for resilience.

Perhaps even more importantly, one of the things that I’ve come to find is that those messages from the universe are only a select few of the messages that we receive.

I spent yesterday working on picking up the pieces from a nasty emotional fracture over the long weekend. I made a doctor’s appointment because I’ve got a few things going on and I have blown off having blood work done because well, I haven’t made that part of my health enough of a priority. I finally made it to get a much-needed haircut. I told my partner this morning that I felt like, for the first time in a while, I spent a day acting like a grownup. More or less, it comes down to this: I’m starting to suspect that just maybe going through the motions isn’t enough anymore. It’s probably time to look at taking action.

So this morning I found myself reading some blogs that I haven’t paid as much attention to lately as I have at other points in time. Re-tweeted old posts and tweets announcing new posts came in nearly at the same time – and both offered a similar lesson: Letting go of the familiar, the safe, the “supposed to” is essential if we’re going to change and grow. And life is all about changing and growing.

We focus so much on looking for the familiar and trying to keep it with us – even if what we’re clinging to is something that tends to make us feel pretty awful rather than better about what’s going on in our lives. We stick with ideas that feel safe more often than not – and while sometimes this is about a fear of failure or a fear of the unknown, more often than not, clinging to the notion of playing it safe simply slows our progress and stands between us and our goals (right about now, I’m really wishing I’d bookmarked a blog post I read yesterday that talked about playing it safe, taking risks, and the level of satisfaction one had from the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books geared to young adults). And thinking about how things are supposed to be, more often than not, just leaves us increasingly less satisfied with how things actually are.

I wish that I could say I had an easy answer – a quick fix – for moving beyond the stories we tell ourselves, clinging to should and supposed to, and generally learning to grow fearlessly (or at least in spite of the fear). I don’t. And more than that, I don’t think that there is an easy answer.

Like so many things, I think really listening to what life has to teach us is a process that’s personal. I suspect that the best process is a little bit different for everyone. But don’t let that get you down: You have the power to choose your lessons, to grow at your own pace, and to build a life that you feel great about. All it takes it taking the first steps.

The holiday season is upon us; the new year is just around the corner and it’s got me thinking about how much can change in a year’s time. I’m also starting to think about changes for next year and what I can do to evolve during that time – despite the fears, the doubts, and the messages that the little things don’t matter. Anybody else?