I have a confession to make: lately I’ve been hanging back more, participating less, and generally withdrawing into myself. It’s a form of playing it safe.

See, I know that my perspective is different. I know that I don’t come at things the same way. I know that more often than not the other members of my community are people who don’t share my experience – and while I truly believe that there are things that others need, that there’s great advice to be found, I’ve started to find that a lot of those recommendations (specifically when they relate to body image issues and the overcoming of them) just flat out don’t apply to me. I’ve also realized that that’s something that it feels an awful lot like I shouldn’t comment on; I’m in the minority, and when the space to make a point is limited – such as on Twitter – trying to do so almost always backfires and freaks me out. I’m left feeling othered not just once, but again because I chose to speak out.

So for the last couple of weeks, I decided to quit speaking for the most part. I’ve had a ton of life getting in the way anyway.

But then I started reading some posts completely outside of the realm of recovery and health. And once again, those posts – like this one – are the ones that speak to me the most, the ones that call me on my own stuff and challenge me to make changes. I was playing it safe – and it only served to leave me feeling more alienated rather than genuinely making me comfortable.

That’s okay though – because the reality is that I know (as the post points out) that it’s the discomfort that leads to growth. I know that getting back into the fray is what allows me to grow. That talking matters. That having a voice matters – and that using it matters more. And I just can’t quite find myself content to keep silencing me.