For months, I was convinced that this blog was over and done. I had a for sale sign up. I had the domain set to only renew if I paid for it to – and it was due to expire today. But when I got that email this morning, that it was the last day to renew and keep the site active, something in me clicked.

I shelled out the money and renewed.

I’m not entirely sure of why I did so. I’m not completely convinced that it was something that should have been done. I don’t know whether or not I’ll actually act on the commitment to keeping this blog alive, nor do I know what it will look like in a month or two.

But that’s okay – in part, because that’s just how recovery itself goes.

We don’t know from one day to the next that there won’t be another urge to resist. We don’t know that there won’t be a day when our clothes just don’t feel like they fit right and we start to think that there’s something horribly, dreadfully, terribly wrong with us that we’ll just want to make stop in any way possible. We don’t know what triggers there might be or exactly how we’ll respond to them.

There’s a certain vulnerability that comes with the process. There’s a vulnerability that comes with showing up to life every day. There’s vulnerability that comes with knowing that we’re alive and knowing that there’s a plan for us – and not knowing what that plan is or how things will end up.

I’m starting to think though that it’s that vulnerability that reminds us that we’re human, and that – while we may be fragile – we’re made to get through. To inspire. To be. To live.