When someone with a great sense of being gets a compliment, they accept it. Most often, when someone with an eating disorder receives a compliment, there’s a bit of denial - or, at the very least, a sense of “well, I just got lucky,” or “I guess, but. . .” On the other hand, when someone with an eating disorder receives a bit of critism, there’s the tendency to internalize it and add it to the mantra of “things that are wrong with me.”
With eating disorder recovery, however, things start to get shaken up a little bit. The compliments are still a little tough to take; but the criticisms seem to, well, for me at least - they throw me a little bit more.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing; it doesn’t even need to matter. But sometimes, just that not so subtle “you could have done that better,” seems like enough to screw up the whole day.
Often, it’s not even about criticisms, it’s about some ridiculous frustration. The mix of “I just don’t want to” and “This is a stupid topic,” slow me down. A lot of days, that combination feels like high school all over again (minus the popular kids and random hating).
Getting past the criticisms and frustrations is different for those who are in recovery than it is for those who are still in the throws of their eating disorders. For those who are still in the middle of it all need to learn how to let go of the reasons why they’re internalizing everything; for those in recovery, it’s about the fight to remember that a lot of the bullshit has nothing to do with them.
People criticize for countless reasons, mostly their own insecurities. There’s always a choice: take it on or let it go. Recovery, as I’ve said isn’t so much about the whole losing and gaining thing as it is about winning the fight: moving past other people’s bullshit, it definitely counts for the win.
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