Getting up and getting started in the morning can be a challenge for me, especially on the weekends. This morning was no exception. She got up early, working out before work; I slept through that, but her putting away the washed dishes banged me out of my sleep and I woke up crabby.
Breakfast was fine, nothing out of the ordinary. I struggled to get to a point of ready to get to work and just as I reached that spot, my mother called. Let me rephrase that: my parents called - both of them - in tears because they had to put their kitten down this morning. I’ve got my own pet issues coming up that I need to deal with and, at this point, hearing that kinda left me unmotivated yet again.
So, here it is, a little over an hour later and I just finished a workout. In part, the title of this post refers to the physical weakness that I’ve started to recognize: my legs, they just aren’t as strong as they once were. Not having been running and biking much with the cold weather has caught up to me and I’m actually pretty angry about it (even though it really shouldn’t be that important to me). I pushed myself until my body shook, each and every muscle twitching and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t hoping that they would still hurt tomorrow.
At the same point in time, listening to music and pushing to an extreme has made me feel remarkably better. My head’s a little bit clearer and, well, hey whatever. Hopefully this means that I can scratch out this post and focus on getting shit done. After all, it’s not like I do not have plenty left to do.
My weaknesses are plenty - and most of them aren’t physical. It’s easy for me to get caught up in the chaos of a moment and to have trouble getting out of it. I can be overly emotional. I can let sadness get the better of me even when everything should be great. I get lonely when I am with friends sometimes because they aren’t the people who I really want to be spending time with.
Same point in time, those weaknesses aren’t uncommon. Same point in time, they shouldn’t rule my life.
March 30th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Hi-
I apologize for contacting you via your blog messages, but I couldn’t locate an email address for you.
I’m conducting an anonymous survey of bloggers who blog about eating disorders or eating disorder recovery in partnership with a clinical psychologist for joint research and publication purposes. I’m hoping our survey generates lots of responses so that our findings are well-rounded, inclusive and convincing. If the scope of the study pertains to your own experiences, I invite you to participate by taking it.
More information and a survey link can be found here.
Thank you!
Rachel Richardson
March 31st, 2008 at 1:15 pm
You are angry at the weather? The eating disorder might just have been a result something else something deeper and more meaningful.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I find physical weakness for me can be directly related with my state of mind. If I feel confident then I generally feel strong and good. Whenever I am feeling down, which I can relate to what you’re going through, I feel weak and feeble like I could just stay in bed all day! I’m sure we’d agree that life is a challenge every day no matter what.