There’s more than a little bit of chaos in my life lately, and sometimes it feels like I’m not moving forward at all. Other times, I think that rather that taking one step forward and two steps back, I’m just going in circles. Truth be told, it’s making me a little bit crazy.
I know that, after the holidays (and the post-Christmas funeral that’s still out there, waiting to be faced), things ought to go back to normal. The stress ought to ease up a little bit, time spent with the family ought to ease up a little bit. I believe that there’s a quietness that ought to come - a chance when I’ll be able to unwind a bit and really figure out how to move forward, because I know that there’s something that I need to do.
What gets me though is knowing that I’m not alone in feeling this way:
(source)recently i just seem to be going round in circles and i so desperately want it to stop. its seems like i have a good few days and before i know it im back in that madness
Whether it’s that serious cycle of feeling okay one day and being trapped in the behaviors of anorexia, bulimia or compulsive eating or it’s that place in recovery where I am, where the thoughts are there but not acted on and so is the passion for life.
Growing pains never seem to stop, which is a good thing (I think). There’s always more that we can learn, more that we can experience and a few steps that we can take - it’s always possible to take a few more steps towards realizing our dreams.
Some days though, I still feel like I’m going in circles. Not the tight knotting circles that I’ve gone in in the past, but sweeping loops that no longer connect; I might not always feel like I’m moving forward, but somehow I know that I am.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:05 am
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